I’ve had a bit of writers block since i arrived in Melbourne, i have drafts of posts all over my desktop none of which i was happy with posting. It’s starting to fall away now as i settle into life down under so i’ll start to fill you in on what’s been going on.
I was extremely tired when i arrived in Australia, tired from the emotions of the last few weeks in Asia. Tired from moving every few days for the previous 11 weeks, tired from meeting new people all the time, tired from the effort it takes to throw myself out every day into something new. I know it sounds odd, but those who travel often will understand. Yes largely i was on a big holiday, but i was also doing a bit of work remotely at the same time and/or researching what i wanted to be doing once i landed in each place and once i got to Australia. As much as i had an amazing time and loved all of those things and benefited from them greatly i was ready for a new experience. An experience where i can relax into my environment, settle and really get to know a place a bit.
I was also trying my hardest to make all my decisions based on instinct, which is new and surprisingly challenging. As much as ultimately most of my decisions are made that way, there had been a hell of a lot of faffing and deliberating delaying each one of late. (See 6 is the magic number post…) Sometimes with my head hoping that if i faffed for long enough the opportunity for the instinctive decision that my heart wanted to make would vanish into thin air and it would never have to face any of the fears involved in taking that leap of faith. So there were a few channels running at once. Which was also surprisingly tiring
I was also taken aback when i arrived and started to introduce myself to the city. I got a bit spooked by a few of the people that i met saying “oh so you moved for work then?” and me responding “well kind of, i wanted to try some new things and push myself out of my comfort zone…” and them looking at me like i have just eaten my own head. I should have got used to that by now really, as i’ve been getting it since i was back home. I guess i expected to find more like minded people in the expat community of Melbourne. My first experience was of an organised networking event where they were all on contracts being paid from home and relishing being able to hook up with people that were also away from home. It was all a bit contrived and unnatural, and now i think of it a bit like online dating. You meet the people that you are not supposed to meet in real life as fate has not conspired to bring you together. So in retrospect it makes sense that i had nothing in common with them. It was an exercise in me pushing myself out of my comfort zone and i learned a lot. That forum is not for me!
The people that i have met naturally on this journey are a lot more energising, inspiring and engaging for me. Leading to a lot more fulfilling and enriching experiences. In Melbourne specifically these people have genuinely been pleased to share with a new pom to the area. It’s been very touching.
The spooking on the work front lead me to spend a couple of days trawling job sites etc, looking for contracts that might be coming up in the new year. By the end of one day i found myself with a list of things to go for and a very old mindset. Right at the top of the list was a role doing a whole bunch of stuff that i had done before “I could do that with my eyes closed” i found myself saying. “Yes exactly, so why would you want to do it?!” i argued back! This adventure is all about pushing my boundaries and doing what feels right to get me to a point where i can work independently and flexibly doing things that make me smile. Slotting myself into something that i could do because it was easy is exactly what i didn’t want to be doing.
So back to the drawing board, I have lots to think about while it sinks in exactly how far away i am from home and all of the people that i love. But I am really enjoying the city, the food, people and the sights are fantastic. It’s the last few weeks of “holiday” for me for now while i sort out a contract so i am going to make the most of it. More detailed Melbourne posts will follow to catch you up with all the gossip!
Baci at tutti
x
p.s. I wanted to say a monumental thank you to the wonderful people that i have received gifts and cards from this week. They were most unexpected and all made me cry, so thoughtful and very much appreciated. THANK YOU x x x x
